Roton Point

First Prize in the Norwalk Tree Alliance Flowering Tree Contest - May 2016

Black Heron in Milford

Parenting vs Grandparenting

Parenting is probably the hardest job anyone will ever enter into. It is undeniably one of the most joyful jobs as well. Who will ever forget the first words, first steps, first day of kindergarten, soccer practice, graduation, prom, college, wedding and all the myriad routine days between?

And suddenly the house is empty – the silence louder than any noise children make – slamming doors, screeching, sibling rivalry, unbridled joy over an accomplishment? Treasured moments that come tumbling back from inside our memories, resurrected when we first encounter our grandchildren and see our children in their new and wondrous faces!

My grandson spent his first overnight with me and though I was grateful to have Monday as a “recovery day,” I would not have missed it! The playground at Weed Beach delighted him as he climbed, jumped, slid and explored, and dipping his feet, hot from the sand, into the cool salt water.

Later, picking fresh beans from the garden to have with our dinner, I watched his little hands lifting the leaves to look for the beans, finding them and proudly holding them out to me. On the other side he picked fresh raspberries for breakfast eating several as he picked. I remembered my sons doing this and questioning dinner “what is this leaf Mom” as I snuck in kale, herbs and other healthy greenery into whatever happened to be on that night’s menu. They were hungry and ate despite my freaking out – why aren’t you eating? Now, I’m easier, eat or don’t eat, whatever your tummy tells you! Usually they eat.

And later the little things they say at bedtime “my Dad and Mom are really going to miss me…” the only sign he gave of homesickness. I took it as a sign that he trusted me and was happy to be here and I look forward to so many memories with my grandson, the special relationship that I remembered my three sons had with their grandmother, sometimes making me jealous and feeling left out. Of course I told him “yes they are going to miss you and will be excited to come over tomorrow and get you!”

And I watched him sleeping as I had watched my own sons sleeping and you think – how much love can one heart have? The answer is enough, and more. This little being that came from my creation of his father amazes and awes me. The heart never stops growing, never stops loving, never runs out of room. So I hope parents and grandparents throughout town enjoy the adventure and remember “this too shall pass” when ice cream covers the face and hands!

The New Year

What a perfect early January day. It’s snowing. Softly – mixture of big sloppy wet flakes and tiny droplets more rain than snow – very gray – but somehow the starkness of the day makes it perfect.  And tomorrow is Sunday so no worries if we’re snowed in. The Christmas tree is down and everything packed away until the end of the year, leaving open space to spread out and breathe. A pile of books sits on the table waiting to take me to literary feasts and I’m eager to indulge! Wood is neatly stacked by the hearth for later when night falls and is gently lit by only the whiteness of the snow. Hot chocolate spiked with a little crème de cacao to take the chill off…. What a perfect January day.

Christmas 2013

“May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; the spirit of Christmas which is peace; the heart of Christmas which is love…” Ada Hendricks.  How peaceful and beautiful our town looks with the wreaths decked in bows adding the signature red/green colors and tiny white lights of Christmas and hung on lampposts that held flowering baskets all summer.

I recently read a letter by an atheist who said he thought the lights and crèches and menorahs and other religious symbols should be banned because they confused his children. Though I can appreciate his position, I would find it sad to want a world so sterile and devoid of any tradition and celebration.  Wouldn’t this be a great way to teach tolerance to your child, that the objects of tradition whether religious or purely for fun, are different from what you do or do not believe – not wrong but different? And different is okay, different should be welcome because it’s what makes our world interesting!

I am not offended when someone says Happy Hanukah to me, or Happy Kwanza or Happy Ramadan, because they would be sharing with me the joy they feel celebrating their family holiday! Joy in any form is a beautiful and rare gift to share and wouldn’t it be nice to have a universal month of joy, light, peace and celebration where all faiths and all traditions are respected?

John Lennon together with Yoko Ono co-wrote the song Imagine with lyrics encouraging us to imagine a world at peace without the impediments of religions and nationalities. With subtle suggestions that we should be living a life unattached to material possessions, one wonders if such a utopia could exist? I myself could not forfeit my attachment to certain possessions but I like the song and I like the ideal behind it.

However, as I make my way through town picking up gifts here and there for loved ones, I don’t feel materialistic, I feel happiness at sharing what I hope will be the perfect gift for the perfect person, and Darien’s shops have a plethora of ideas for anyone on every list. I don’t even have to leave town to shop and I don’t have to go online though I admit a secret obsession with surfing through those sites and seeing what deals they have…

So as I start to wrap, decorate the tree, try to put up outdoor lights, I’ll end my story today with the words of Clement Moore (…ere he drove out of sight) and share the joy of my religious belief “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night…”