Black Heron in Milford

Parenting vs Grandparenting

Parenting is probably the hardest job anyone will ever enter into. It is undeniably one of the most joyful jobs as well. Who will ever forget the first words, first steps, first day of kindergarten, soccer practice, graduation, prom, college, wedding and all the myriad routine days between?

And suddenly the house is empty – the silence louder than any noise children make – slamming doors, screeching, sibling rivalry, unbridled joy over an accomplishment? Treasured moments that come tumbling back from inside our memories, resurrected when we first encounter our grandchildren and see our children in their new and wondrous faces!

My grandson spent his first overnight with me and though I was grateful to have Monday as a “recovery day,” I would not have missed it! The playground at Weed Beach delighted him as he climbed, jumped, slid and explored, and dipping his feet, hot from the sand, into the cool salt water.

Later, picking fresh beans from the garden to have with our dinner, I watched his little hands lifting the leaves to look for the beans, finding them and proudly holding them out to me. On the other side he picked fresh raspberries for breakfast eating several as he picked. I remembered my sons doing this and questioning dinner “what is this leaf Mom” as I snuck in kale, herbs and other healthy greenery into whatever happened to be on that night’s menu. They were hungry and ate despite my freaking out – why aren’t you eating? Now, I’m easier, eat or don’t eat, whatever your tummy tells you! Usually they eat.

And later the little things they say at bedtime “my Dad and Mom are really going to miss me…” the only sign he gave of homesickness. I took it as a sign that he trusted me and was happy to be here and I look forward to so many memories with my grandson, the special relationship that I remembered my three sons had with their grandmother, sometimes making me jealous and feeling left out. Of course I told him “yes they are going to miss you and will be excited to come over tomorrow and get you!”

And I watched him sleeping as I had watched my own sons sleeping and you think – how much love can one heart have? The answer is enough, and more. This little being that came from my creation of his father amazes and awes me. The heart never stops growing, never stops loving, never runs out of room. So I hope parents and grandparents throughout town enjoy the adventure and remember “this too shall pass” when ice cream covers the face and hands!

The New Year

What a perfect early January day. It’s snowing. Softly – mixture of big sloppy wet flakes and tiny droplets more rain than snow – very gray – but somehow the starkness of the day makes it perfect.  And tomorrow is Sunday so no worries if we’re snowed in. The Christmas tree is down and everything packed away until the end of the year, leaving open space to spread out and breathe. A pile of books sits on the table waiting to take me to literary feasts and I’m eager to indulge! Wood is neatly stacked by the hearth for later when night falls and is gently lit by only the whiteness of the snow. Hot chocolate spiked with a little crème de cacao to take the chill off…. What a perfect January day.

Christmas 2013

“May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope; the spirit of Christmas which is peace; the heart of Christmas which is love…” Ada Hendricks.  How peaceful and beautiful our town looks with the wreaths decked in bows adding the signature red/green colors and tiny white lights of Christmas and hung on lampposts that held flowering baskets all summer.

I recently read a letter by an atheist who said he thought the lights and crèches and menorahs and other religious symbols should be banned because they confused his children. Though I can appreciate his position, I would find it sad to want a world so sterile and devoid of any tradition and celebration.  Wouldn’t this be a great way to teach tolerance to your child, that the objects of tradition whether religious or purely for fun, are different from what you do or do not believe – not wrong but different? And different is okay, different should be welcome because it’s what makes our world interesting!

I am not offended when someone says Happy Hanukah to me, or Happy Kwanza or Happy Ramadan, because they would be sharing with me the joy they feel celebrating their family holiday! Joy in any form is a beautiful and rare gift to share and wouldn’t it be nice to have a universal month of joy, light, peace and celebration where all faiths and all traditions are respected?

John Lennon together with Yoko Ono co-wrote the song Imagine with lyrics encouraging us to imagine a world at peace without the impediments of religions and nationalities. With subtle suggestions that we should be living a life unattached to material possessions, one wonders if such a utopia could exist? I myself could not forfeit my attachment to certain possessions but I like the song and I like the ideal behind it.

However, as I make my way through town picking up gifts here and there for loved ones, I don’t feel materialistic, I feel happiness at sharing what I hope will be the perfect gift for the perfect person, and Darien’s shops have a plethora of ideas for anyone on every list. I don’t even have to leave town to shop and I don’t have to go online though I admit a secret obsession with surfing through those sites and seeing what deals they have…

So as I start to wrap, decorate the tree, try to put up outdoor lights, I’ll end my story today with the words of Clement Moore (…ere he drove out of sight) and share the joy of my religious belief “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night…”

September

From brightest blue spills glitter of afternoon, more champagne than ever summer…” so in the words of Robert Penn Warren who surely was talking about September, the onset of Autumn begins! Those random few yellow leaves we saw scattered here and there in August are now forming small piles, a precursor to the bigger piles yet to come. Don’t you love that scratchy, rustly sound as you shuffle through the dead leaves or maybe leap childlike into a great pile of them! But for now, the energy in the cooler air and the expectancy of brilliant foliage yet to come, keeps us outdoors savoring every moment. There is something about the September light – it’s so effervescent - crisp mornings leading into warmer afternoons, though the days are shorter – all the more precious!

With the shorter days, the nocturnal critters are out earlier and now you can see the bats flitting about as dusk falls but no worries! These much maligned little creatures eat a thousand mosquitoes (and other insect pests) in one hour, so we need to encourage them! Or the very least adopt a live-and-let-live pact with them! There are 45 species of bats in the United States and fewer than half of one-percent carries the rabies virus! From my kitchen window I can see that my neighbor has a “bat house” way up high in one of the trees at the edge of his property.  I have never actually seen any bats coming and going but I like the idea of this unexpected welcome mat over there and I’ll keep watching!

It’s still not too late for a picnic supper at the beach, reveling in Indian summer – hopefully ending every impromptu dinner with toasted marshmallows… and aren’t smores good any time of the year? So, let’s take the advice of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and … sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that bank upon the idle seashore of the mind…  Aren’t we lucky to live near enough the water to bask in its sounds and scents and visual repasts – so much to offer in all seasons!

And as what eventually happens, time doesn’t stand still and we get the pull to go indoors.  For those not lucky enough to be heading to New Jersey, it’s the Giants versus whoever as we step into NFL season! Who can resist! Get the chili, the chips, the beer ready and party-on whether it’s tail-gating or in the TV room – Sunday’s now revolve around the pigskin! On the town front, we’ll soon see, among other high school sports, the Blue Wave football team – practicing and playing and then the traditional Homecoming dance, bonfire and football game – check out the new electronic scoreboard! – Autumn has begun for all ages!

But if you’re still not quite ready to let summer go, what better way to say your goodbyes till next year than celebrating 64 year old Diane Nyad’s amazing, record breaking 103 mile Havana to Miami swim without a shark cage! I am so impressed!  She says this would be her final attempt but wanted to prove "it's never too late to chase your dream," and so she did. Age is just a number, as my son tells me, so dreams should never be abandoned! Nyad pursued her dream for 35 years and 5 attempts! So, dust off your dreams and aspirations and as George Eliot said - It is never too late to be what you might have been... Happy September, enjoy the gold, touchdown!

So I finally got one of my Reader to Reader pieces accepted by Victoria Magazine! The September/October 2013 issues - topic: volunteering. The issue arrived today - made my day! Hope everyone enjoys Victoria magazine - and my contribution.  Have a great evening and a terrific last month of summer! NRN