Winter Gardens

The winter gardens are beautiful in their austerity, the raised beds, surrounded by gravel paths are barren but tidy, against the flagstone patio where the wrought iron table and chairs sit patiently waiting for the return of warm weather visitors! The hydrangeas are brittle stalks, lovely in their indifference to the cold, even with the lack of blossoms, only a few dried brown heads remaining, evidence of the profusion of blue last summer. Dormant lavender and sage still stand near the dried lemongrass and hollyhocks waiting for the warmth to return, the land to thaw.  The ground has crystals in it, where frost has attacked and harbored. It isn’t soft, warm and crumbly like spring soil full of moisture and the promise of life. It’s hard, cold, sealed within itself, keeping secrets unseen by our eyes but which we know, by faith, they will  give back to us come spring. Above, the night sky is ringed with a cold gossamer haze cocooning the white sliver of the new moon, beaming gently down on all the gray, white cold of earth in its frozen grasp. An occasional raccoon or opossum waddles through looking for remnants in the vegetable garden, empty of all but a few Brussels sprouts and one head of green cabbage. The air is still, birdsong disappearing into the dark, only the far away echo of cars on Route 136 or Interstate 95 interrupt the soothing peace of night, falling earlier and staying longer in the morning. There is something wondrous about looking at the gardens empty of life, sitting expectantly, waiting patiently, nurturing underground the roots and bulbs of what will be my entertainment after the long winter solstice.

My mother at Lenox Hill Hospital with her 3rd husband Ralph Baruch -

A Little pre-Christmas and pre-December humor from my Cat Omar

  A kittlie tail…

Ah December, crackling fires in the fireplace to snooze in front of, dreaming of the sleeping catnip patch and spring. Snow falling outside the window we used to jump in and out of all summer long. Alas, no catnip, but when the craving starts in us, we merely wander down to the garden (the flagstones still get warm from the weakening sun) and chew the woody stalks to release the fragrance that fills our minds with summer dreams.  Then back to the fires to snooze, back to the bed to bask in whatever rays of sun come streaming through the windows, back to dreams of gardens to frolic in, stone walls to scamper along, fences to squiggle under and mice to catch. Happy  December and an early but very Merry Christmas!

Thanksgiving

Every year at this time I ask myself what I am thankful for. The list seems to get longer every year. I am thankful for my children who all seem to be happy, healthy, and thriving in this turbulent economic environment. They all seem to have found good women in their choice of life companions. I am blessed with a healthy happy grandson who delights me and reminds me of all the wonders I experienced with my children when they were young.

I am thankful I am no longer in the job I held that kept me stifled and depressed though I am not thankful for the lack of a job as a source of steady income. I am grateful for all the friends who support me in my endeavor to carve out a career with the written word. It is because of them I don’t give up.

I am grateful for my dog who’s energy and exuberance takes me on daily walks and bring new friends to my door because everyone seems to love to stop and visit with her as they pass by my house, delivering mail or taking a walk on their lunch break, or whatever errand has them passing by on their way down Route 136.

I am grateful for the Sugar Bowl that hosts the Darien Times editors and anyone who chooses to join them for coffee on Thursday mornings. The conversations are lively and sometime laced with arguments and heat but always I come away learning something new. And I’m grateful that the Darien Times chooses to print my letters week after week. Hopefully, what I say is helping other people even if it is merely to entertain them with a walk down nostalgia lane.

I am grateful for Pelicci’s where I wandered in last night in jeans and a sweater with good friends for a hearty Italian meal and a refreshing, icy cold Gray Goose martini, a wonderful venue to spend a Saturday night chatting, and catching up with old friends and getting to know good friends.

I am grateful to still be in my house despite my lack of income. Somehow the money comes and I’m able to stay month after month continuing my endeavors and working from home where I can combine my creative pursuits with cooking and gardening and just admiring the wonderful world we live in that I see through my windows – the woods that change with the seasons and hold me spellbound. The birds in their vast variety, colors, and songs that always seem focused, self-sufficient and light hearted. The animals not always seen but always there under cover of dark harboring in the same woods – the coyotes, foxes, raccoons, opossums, deer and whatever else I have not yet had the luck to see. I am grateful just to be.

Big Pharma Can Help

With the ever increasing unemployment rate, the economy in flux, foreclosures, medical expenses out of control, food prices rising and now, as we head into fall and cold weather, rising oil prices for heat added to our burgeoning expenses – one has to wonder how do you decide between paying rent/mortgage, buying food for your family, or providing them with health care?

When I unwillingly joined the ranks of the unemployed earlier this year my focus was the loss of medical benefits that coincided with the loss of paycheck. How would I get my much needed medicines, which, without benefit of medical insurance, was costing almost $500/month - where would the money come from?

After researching online I found that many of the big pharmaceutical companies had programs to help people like me. With patent issues frequently precluding generic equivalents, and subsequent lower costs, the manufacturers are often willing to work with people in this turbulent environment to help them achieve a better quality of life. Through my research, I have found that depending on your income and employment situation you can get your medicines directly from the manufacturer. For example, GlaxoSmithKline has the "Bridges to Access" program and Merck has the "RxCrossroads Pharmacy.”

You can go online and find the manufacturers who provide your prescriptions and follow the directions to either receive these medicines free of cost or at a much lower cost via their co-pay program. You will need to fill out their eligibility forms, get a prescription from your doctor for a 90 day supply with three refills and then you are qualified for a year if you meet their requirements. At the end of the year you will need to resubmit your application to re-qualify for an additional year. Have a healthy fall and winter!

Rude Bosses

Across the board I hear from friends and people I know that their bosses are rude and expect too much from them. Co-workers leaving in tears because they can’t meet the expectations foisted on them when other co-workers are let go or leave and not replaced. There are only so many hours in a day and only so many hats you can wear. Am I a hygienist or a secretary? Am I a data entry clerk or a graphic designer? Am I an administrator or a personal assistant? More and more employers are taking advantage of the jobs situation, knowing that jobs are scarce, and thinking that gives them the excuse to be rude or heap on more and more work to the breaking point because there are no job opportunities out there and employees will do anything to keep their jobs.

            Yes you can say that these “bosses” are under the gun too – does that give them the right to take advantage of people beneath them? I was divorced and had three children and my boss knew that I needed to keep my job and would do anything to keep it and he nit-picked me to death, critical, demanding, and condescending, often leaving me in tears at my desk. Yes, I stayed, because I had three children and needed a paycheck. I tried to find another position and was told by Human Resources that no one wanted me. Why? They wanted me to stay where I was because no one else wanted to work with my boss.

            The day I lost my job I thought back over the 11+ years I had been there. My children were grown now and had their own homes and jobs and the subsequent frustrations that came with them. I was living alone now and better able to tighten my belt without thinking of others. The first Monday after my layoff I woke up and felt as though a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I never, ever had to go back there again and that was when I realized how depressed I had been there.

            Is it better now? Yes and no. I still worry about money and how I’ll make my mortgage and if I’ll keep my home and if I don’t what will happen to my dog and cat (and myself). I have signed on with head hunters – to date no offers. And so I try and keep upbeat and talk with people who I can help by listening, and having dinner parties with friends that fill my 7 foot table with laughter, good times, and cheer! I pinch my pennies and wait for the day when I get another paycheck, until then I complete projects at home I couldn’t do when I worked and had no time. I walk with my dog and lose the weight I always promised I would as I ate chips at my desk because I had worked through lunch and was hungry. I tell myself that things are always darkest before the dawn and when the sun rises and shines through my brilliantly clean windows – I feel at peace – at least until the 1^st of the month and the mortgage is due again! More to come.

9/11

2,977 people – 8:46 AM – 9:03 AM – 9:37 AM – 10:03 AM – The hours and minutes of a perfect September morning – much like today’s perfect weather as we remember the people lost ten years ago. I can hear the bells from churches, see the testimonials on TV and most of all remember, and except for Cable 12’s “enough, too much, too little” survey seeming to put a game show spin on it – nothing today was trivialized.

9/11 is like a scar from a grievous wound, it never goes away. After a while we get used to its presence, but it’s always there to remind you, with or without the testimonials, TV coverage and news. As we sit under the umbrella of yet more threats, warnings and orange alerts this week, we realize we’ve adjusted to living with the twisted minds and actions that are part of the fabric of the society we move in today.

I was lucky not to lose anyone that was a personal friend or member of my family, but I remember a lot of the people in the broker community I knew through my job, people I enjoyed talking to and sometimes saw walk through the halls of the offices where I worked. It was my job in the aftermath to find out who our new broker reps were and it was an odious job replacing the contact names in our rosters. There were so many names.

The day will stay with us, the falling of the first tower more vivid even than when the planes hit, that final sigh as it fell to its knees taking all that life with it. It stays there, like my mother-in-law telling me where she was when Pearl Harbor was attacked, or my 6^th grade class when Mrs. Anderson told us to go home that November day in 1963, and the coverage – the caisson, the little boy’s salute and Jackie Kennedy’s iconic pink suit still as vivid in our memories as anything we saw on 9/11/01 and in the days that followed.

10 years have passed, we’ve grown, we’ve learned, perhaps hardened – and that’s our best answer, our best defense, our best weapon against this insanity – 10 years later we are still here, they didn’t win.